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Let me tell you about my magical Maxie. This little Meow entered my life unexpectedly
in January – just between two new Moons.
I have spent hours with her daily resting and napping and getting cozy –
cheek to fur – her little body sprawled out all over me – in our bed, in the
hammock, on the grass. She has the most
OMazing purr – magnetic and warm and mesmerizing.
Daily we go on jaunts into our front yard which is like a tropical
forest from Maxie’s perspective – full of trees and plants. We cross over my neighbor’s one inch plant
wall and enter the forest of chimes.
Sitting – smelling – seeing – taking it all in while remaining slightly
hidden in the brush. And then we lift
our head to the wind and find an enticing aroma that has us dashing down between the houses
and out to the back garden and right next to the chickens next door.
I love this little Meow – when she sleeps she stretches her big
rabbit paws and flexes her claws.
Stretch – stretch – stretch and she touches you – her pawpad pink and
soft and hot. And if I move, she
readjusts herself so she fits around me – finding the nook in my arm to burrow
within.
Yesterday was the most OMazing and worst day of my life. Within moments, everything in my world
chahahanged. I woke up a little early
and put on my layers and took the GingerMama for a walk. I returned home after 45 minutes, cool on the
outside, toasty on the inside. I took
off all my clothes and got back into bed.
Maxie jumped right up on the bed and found a cozy little pocket near my
hip. She plopped herself down and
started to purr. LoverBoy found us and
we all cuddled together.
LoverBoy left us to run errands and me and the Maxie were still
snoozing. She was now across my chest
with her rabbit longpaws - she stretched
her little body and resumed purring. So
hahahard to get out of bed and leave this little soul.
As I swept the house, Maxie followed me from room to room –
reminding me to shake my carpets and open my windows and doors. We sat by the front door – she ran out to
play, I meditated with my plants. She
came to nibble my ankles and remind me to water my plants. She played in the pile of leaves – pouncing
on lizards and jumping for the butterflies.
After cleaning, I took a little time out. Grabbed a new book and a mug of lemon infused
water and I settled into my hammock.
GingerMama laid down to the right of me, Elly Belly sat in the doorstop and
Maxie – she cried out to join me in the hammock. I picked her up and she settled on half my
stomach and my thigh.
Together, we lay – heart to heart –
swaying and purring. I read about 200
pages and then the little one started to stir.
It was time to move. Out through
the side door, we went to visit with our neighbor’s dog and chickens. Maxie laid down under the trailer. I sat on the bamboo trunks across from her. Petey the dog sat with his face to the fence
sniffing our aromas. The chickens,
clucking and cooing, got closer and closer.
It was a glorious experience of being one with the animals and enjoying
the camaraderie.
After a few minutes, a lizard ran through
some leaves and Maxie followed. This
time she plopped herself by the driveway hidden by some bougainvillea. I sat down near her. We stretched and did different yoga
poses. I went back inside to find some
greens for the chickens. I found some
kale in the fridge and took out the garbage too. Fed the chickens, dumped the garbage, and
laughed at Maxie who was totally sprawled out in the sunshine enjoying life.
I went back inside and was sweeping the kitchen floor when I heard
her scream. I looked out the window and
saw nothing. I heard LoverBoy pulling up into our driveway. I ran out the side door and there she was - laying down on the ground – except something was wrong. She was laying down but every second breath was a convulsion and panting. I tried to approach while she was doing this dance –
trying to exhale forcibly, panting and then dragging her body to the left and
flopping over on her right.
I tried to pick her up to see if she had anything lodged in her
mouth. LoverBoy came running to assess
the situation. My little Maxie’s tongue
was turning blue and I didn’t know what to do.
We got into the car with Maxie wrapped in a blanket. She meowed, she hissed and then she stopped
fighting. She meowed once again and took
her last breath. She died on my lap two
blocks from the hospital.
That’s when I lost my equilibrium.
Like all of a sudden, a great big earthquake occurred in my body. Tears streaming down my face, snot running
out of my nose, body on an extreme adrenaline rush. We got Maxie to the hospital only to have
them pronounce her dead. Just so you know, Maxie was seven months
old. Life isn’t supposed to hahahappen
this way.
When ZekoMan passed away, we had 15 wonderful years together. His body let me know that it was breaking
down and it would be his time to go.
With Maxie, there was no warning.
One moment we were playing together.
The next moment she takes her last breath.
I was not prepared for that to occur today. I imagined Maxie and we would have many years
together. I can’t concentrate. I can’t even breathe without liquid coming
out of some orifice on my face. The
enormity of this loss hits me right in the stomach. How life is forever chahahanged without Maxie
in my life. LoverBoy and I are a mess –
everything feels surreal. Standing in
the animal hospital – not sure what to do, how to proceed, how to get back to “life”.
We ordered a necropsy (an autopsy for animals) in order to get
some closure. Although the doctor could
not tell us 100% definitely, she said it looked like a feline asthma attack and
that the Little One’s lungs just stopped working.
I never knew how much it hurt to love. I have loved before and lost before. Except this time, it is feeling so strong –
so visceral – this hurt, this pain in my heart of knowing this Little One will
never rub my legs again or curl up next to me or ontop of me. Knowing when I call her name she will never
show up again. This feeling of LOSS and SADNESS threatens to envelop me. The mind starts working – what else could I
have done – is this my fault – why didn’t I do something different???
I shake myself – shahahahakti shake – release the drama in my
head. I try to laugh – I call up my
memories of Maxie and me in the hammock – Maxie in my pajama pants – Maxie sprawled
out on LoverBoy’s desk – and the tears come again. This time, tears of gratitude intermingled
with sadness. SO blessed to have known
this little Soul during her brief time on our planet. SO blessed to have her in our family and
home for these 2 ½ months. So blessed to have all these delicious sensory memories with Maxie, this enlightened soul who shared a brief moment with we .
I always tell peeps who come to Laughter Yoga and cry during our Circle that this is
natural. Crying is the
opposite end of the emotional spectrum where laughter is found. Fluctuating from one end to the other rapidly
– that can cause the wind to be knocked out of you.
I slowly breathe – trying to find my equilibrium – knowing that
this too shall pass – my heart fuller and open wide thanks to Maxie.
REST IN PEACE MAXIE GIRL – We Love you - Goddess, Noah, GingerMama and EllyBelly
