CURIOSITY

This week has been OMazing.   A chahahahange of heART. Enthusiasm.  MOMentum. And lots of it - woohoo.

Thahahank you so much for your prayers and kind words for Mom and Dad.

Mom is in the hospital again - this time for observation and research for this red bump that formed around her stitches.  I told Mom the Doctors are going to have to pay her for her time at the hospital.   Please keep her in your prayers as she discovers what a strong OMazing Mama Goddess she is and always has been.

This week "doing the practice" included connecting with the Earth.  Spending more time outdoors in this lovely Florida weather. Hanging with the trees - enjoying the shade they provide and the wonderful breeze.  Getting down on the ground and laying in the grass.  Planting my feet in the Earth and watching the clouds dance in the sky.   Being still and observing ants and squirrels and spiders and birds, including a pair of woodpeckers who are going to nest in a hollow palm tree trunk on our swale.  I love being curious and learning new things.

One of the most reliable and overlooked keys to happiness is cultivating and exercising our innate sense of curiosity. That’s because curiosity — a state of active interest or genuinely wanting to know more about something — creates an openness to unfamiliar experiences, laying the groundwork for greater opportunities to experience discovery, joy and delight.

According to Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi, one of the founders of the field of positive psychology and a pioneering researcher in the area of flow, we can develop our curiosity (and fight boredom) by making a conscious effort to direct our attention to something in particular in our environment.

Everyone possesses curiosity to some degree. People differ according to the strength and breadth of their curiosity and their willingness to act on it.  Curiosity is something that can be nurtured and developed. With practice, we can harness the power of curiosity to transform everyday tasks into interesting and enjoyable experiences. We can also use curiosity to intentionally create wonder, intrigue and play out of almost any situation or interaction we encounter.

It all starts with wanting to know more. 

Curiosity, at its core, is all about noticing and being drawn to things we find interesting. It’s about recognizing and seizing the pleasures that novel experiences offer us, and finding novelty and meaning even in experiences that are familiar.

When we are curious, we see things differently; we use our powers of observation more fully. We sense what is happening in the present moment, taking note of what is, regardless of what it looked like before or what we might have expected it to be.

We feel alive and engaged, more capable of embracing opportunities, making connections, and experiencing moments of insight and meaning — all of which provide the foundation for a rich, aware and satisfying life experience.

Here are some important ways to tune into our curiosity and enhance our well-being and the quality of our lives:

Build knowledge. Knowledge opens our eyes to interesting gaps about what we don’t know. The child who can name 45 states is much more interested in discovering the five he or she doesn’t know than the child with only three states in the brain bank. The person learning to play the piano will hear more nuances in a piano concerto than the person who doesn’t know treble clef from bass clef. If you want to be curious, start accumulating knowledge. 

Thrive on uncertainty. We rarely look forward to anxiety and tension, but research shows that these mixed emotions are often what lead to the most intense and longest-lasting positive experiences. People who take part in new and uncertain activities are happier and find more meaning in their lives than people who rely on the familiar.  Most of us mistakenly believe that certainty will make us happier than uncertainty. Imagine that you go to a football game knowing that your team will win. Most people would say that, yes, that would make them happy. Yet knowing the outcome in advance takes away the thrill of watching each play and the good tension that comes with not knowing what will happen next. We forget about the pleasures of surprise and uncertainty.

Reconnect with play. We can add play and playfulness to almost any task, and the attitude of play naturally builds interest and curiosity. 

Find the unfamiliar in the familiar. One way to become more curious is to intentionally circumvent expectations, labels and assumptions about “seemingly” familiar activities and events. It’s easy to prejudge an activity because we think we have seen it before or avoid an activity entirely because we expect it to be boring or unpleasant.  The goal of discovering the unfamiliar in the familiar is to suspend judgments and attend to how things are, not how you expect them to be.

With tasks that are new to you or that you haven’t even considered, ask yourself if you can find one thing that is surprising to you as a newcomer to this particular activity.

These ways to increase our curiosity are adapted from a book called Curious? Discover the Missing Ingredient to a Fulfilling Life by Todd Kashdan, PhD (HarperCollins, 2009). 

Our innate curiosity can easily become dulled by the tedium and familiarity of daily routine. Reawakening it starts with shifting how we pay attention — even in situations we’ve experienced a thousand times before. Here are some tips for shifting our attention and boosting curiosity.

Research suggests that experiencing novelty is an important factor in both health and happiness. Opportunities for novelty exist virtually everywhere, but to discover and make the most of them, we need to develop our “curiosity muscle” through more regular and intense use. Here are some easy ways to begin expanding your own curiosity capacity:

When waking: Look with “fresh eyes.” Choose to see some things in your home, partner or family that you may have overlooked before.

When talking: Strive to remain open to whatever transpires — without assuming, categorizing, judging or reacting. Ask more questions and listen with care.

When driving: Instead of zoning out on a daily commute, make a point of actively anticipating what the drivers around you are likely to do next. Stay aware of what’s ahead and on the horizon.

When working: Look for opportunities to challenge and apply yourself in ways that spark your interest and produce great results. Ask questions like: What’s interesting here? How can I make this more fun?

When exercising: Instead of going through the motions, put your attention on the intricacies and sensations of your own movement and on whatever sights, sounds and smells are within range.

Start by devoting five minutes each day to your curiosity practice. After a week, add a little more time to your training — while cooking, eating, cleaning, bathing, paying bills, sitting on your porch and so on. 

Kashdan invites his readers to become "Curious Explorers" and re-learn the valuable skills seeking out and appreciating what is new.

"When we experience curiosity, we are willing to leave the familiar and routine and take risks, even if it makes us feel anxious and uncomfortable," said Kashdan. "Curious explorers are comfortable with the risks of taking on new challenges. Instead of trying desperately to explain and control our world, as a curious explorer we embrace uncertainty, and see our lives as an enjoyable quest to discover, learn and grow."

One of the great barriers that prevents us from delving into curiosity is fear. When faced with uncertainty or risk, it is much easier, and widely approved to stay confined in what is deemed to be safe. We don't leave dead end jobs to pursue our dreams without financial stability, we don't invest in learning to sky dive just for fun, and we don't even drive a new route to work. Why? Because we are afraid to let curiosity take the full reigns.

Would you like be a "Curious Explorer" with me this week? Here's what Kashdan recommends we do: 

1.   Try to notice little details of your daily routine that you never noticed before. 
2.   When talking to people, try to remain open to whatever transpires without judging/reacting. 
3.   Let novelty unfold and resist the temptation to control the flow. 
4.   Gently allow our attention to be guided by little sights, sounds or smells that come your way.

I love building my CURIOSITY muscle.  It's a constant exploration and research of what I think I know and what I am about to learn.  It opens my senses, sharpens my mind and creates awareness for me. 

Here's a little movie of one of our last days with Maxie Meow - she was so curious and it brought such joy to our hearts.

Losing my Equilibrium

Let me tell you about my magical Maxie.  This little Meow entered my life unexpectedly in January – just between two new Moons.   I have spent hours with her daily resting and napping and getting cozy – cheek to fur – her little body sprawled out all over me – in our bed, in the hammock, on the grass.   She has the most OMazing purr – magnetic and warm and mesmerizing.

Daily we go on jaunts into our front yard which is like a tropical forest from Maxie’s perspective – full of trees and plants.  We cross over my neighbor’s one inch plant wall and enter the forest of chimes.   Sitting – smelling – seeing – taking it all in while remaining slightly hidden in the brush.   And then we lift our head to the wind and find an enticing aroma that has us dashing down between the houses and out to the back garden and right next to the chickens next door.

I love this little Meow – when she sleeps she stretches her big rabbit paws and flexes her claws.  Stretch – stretch – stretch and she touches you – her pawpad pink and soft and hot.  And if I move, she readjusts herself so she fits around me – finding the nook in my arm to burrow within.

Yesterday was the most OMazing and worst day of my life.  Within moments, everything in my world chahahanged.  I woke up a little early and put on my layers and took the GingerMama for a walk.  I returned home after 45 minutes, cool on the outside, toasty on the inside.   I took off all my clothes and got back into bed.   Maxie jumped right up on the bed and found a cozy little pocket near my hip.  She plopped herself down and started to purr.   LoverBoy found us and we all cuddled together.

LoverBoy left us to run errands and me and the Maxie were still snoozing.  She was now across my chest with her rabbit longpaws  - she stretched her little body and resumed purring.  So hahahard to get out of bed and leave this little soul.

As I swept the house, Maxie followed me from room to room – reminding me to shake my carpets and open my windows and doors.   We sat by the front door – she ran out to play, I meditated with my plants.   She came to nibble my ankles and remind me to water my plants.  She played in the pile of leaves – pouncing on lizards and jumping for the butterflies.

After cleaning, I took a little time out.  Grabbed a new book and a mug of lemon infused water and I settled into my hammock.   GingerMama laid down to the right of me, Elly Belly sat in the doorstop and Maxie – she cried out to join me in the hammock.  I picked her up and she settled on half my stomach and my thigh.

Together, we lay – heart to heart – swaying and purring.   I read about 200 pages and then the little one started to stir.  It was time to move.  Out through the side door, we went to visit with our neighbor’s dog and chickens.  Maxie laid down under the trailer.  I sat on the bamboo trunks across from her.  Petey the dog sat with his face to the fence sniffing our aromas.  The chickens, clucking and cooing, got closer and closer.  It was a glorious experience of being one with the animals and enjoying the camaraderie. 

After a few minutes, a lizard ran through some leaves and Maxie followed.  This time she plopped herself by the driveway hidden by some bougainvillea.  I sat down near her.  We stretched and did different yoga poses.  I went back inside to find some greens for the chickens.  I found some kale in the fridge and took out the garbage too.  Fed the chickens, dumped the garbage, and laughed at Maxie who was totally sprawled out in the sunshine enjoying life.

I went back inside and was sweeping the kitchen floor when I heard her scream.  I looked out the window and saw nothing.  I heard LoverBoy pulling up into our driveway.  I ran out the side door and there she was - laying down on the ground – except something was wrong.  She was laying down but every second breath was a convulsion and panting.  I tried to approach while she was doing this dance – trying to exhale forcibly, panting and then dragging her body to the left and flopping over on her right.

I tried to pick her up to see if she had anything lodged in her mouth.  LoverBoy came running to assess the situation.  My little Maxie’s tongue was turning blue and I didn’t know what to do.  We got into the car with Maxie wrapped in a blanket.  She meowed, she hissed and then she stopped fighting.  She meowed once again and took her last breath.  She died on my lap two blocks from the hospital.  

That’s when I lost my equilibrium.  Like all of a sudden, a great big earthquake occurred in my body.  Tears streaming down my face, snot running out of my nose, body on an extreme adrenaline rush.   We got Maxie to the hospital only to have them pronounce her dead.    Just so you know, Maxie was seven months old.  Life isn’t supposed to hahahappen this way.    

When ZekoMan passed away, we had 15 wonderful years together.  His body let me know that it was breaking down and it would be his time to go.  With Maxie, there was no warning.  One moment we were playing together.  The next moment she takes her last breath.

I was not prepared for that to occur today.  I imagined Maxie and we would have many years together.  I can’t concentrate.  I can’t even breathe without liquid coming out of some orifice on my face.  The enormity of this loss hits me right in the stomach.  How life is forever chahahanged without Maxie in my life.  LoverBoy and I are a mess – everything feels surreal.  Standing in the animal hospital – not sure what to do, how to proceed, how to get back to “life”.

We ordered a necropsy (an autopsy for animals) in order to get some closure.  Although the doctor could not tell us 100% definitely, she said it looked like a feline asthma attack and that the Little One’s lungs just stopped working.

I never knew how much it hurt to love.  I have loved before and lost before.  Except this time, it is feeling so strong – so visceral – this hurt, this pain in my heart of knowing this Little One will never rub my legs again or curl up next to me or ontop of me.  Knowing when I call her name she will never show up again.  This feeling of  LOSS and SADNESS threatens to envelop me.   The mind starts working – what else could I have done – is this my fault – why didn’t I do something different???

I shake myself – shahahahakti shake – release the drama in my head.  I try to laugh – I call up my memories of Maxie and me in the hammock – Maxie in my pajama pants – Maxie sprawled out on LoverBoy’s desk – and the tears come again.   This time, tears of gratitude intermingled with sadness.  SO blessed to have known this little Soul during her brief time on our planet.   SO blessed to have her in our family and home for these 2 ½ months.  So blessed to have all these delicious sensory memories with Maxie, this enlightened soul who shared a brief moment with we .

I always tell peeps who come to Laughter Yoga and cry during our Circle that this is natural.  Crying is the opposite end of the emotional spectrum where laughter is found.  Fluctuating from one end to the other rapidly – that can cause the wind to be knocked out of you. 

I slowly breathe – trying to find my equilibrium – knowing that this too shall pass – my heart fuller and open wide thanks to Maxie.

REST IN PEACE MAXIE GIRL – We Love you - Goddess, Noah, GingerMama and EllyBelly

Something Better in Mind

As I turned 45, I was desperately praying to the Universe for a little soul all my own to love.   Funny thing is, every time I make this prayer, a new member joins our family.

This time, we got a phone call from BFAM Victor with a little kitten who was domesticating him.  Since he couldn't keep her, he called us.  I asked GingerMama and EllyBelly about bringing a little One to live with us.  Of course, they said yes.  And so our newest member Maxie moved in.

Maxie the Meow was quite independent before she arrived - living a life of leisure at the beach she decided to settle in with we humans.  On her first night at our house, she was fine in my creative room - a small space to get acclimated in her new surroundings. However, the moment she saw a patio and pool beyond the window, she learned to fly out the window.  She loves being outside in the garden and walking around the pool.  She loves nestling in the grass and sniffing everything.   

She loves being with us.  I call her name and within moments she responds.   She flies in a room and marks her scent all over me as she rubs her little body around my legs.  She makes me laugh - the crazy way she totally relaxes her body when she sleeps or how one ear goes up but nothing else moves.  Or how she leaps in one amazing bound when she is ready to explore and investigate.  Or how in the next moment she lays across my knee and falls asleep.

I had forgotten what it means to have a Little One in the house again.  Besides the litter box and the extra cat food - she adds quite a bit of things to do that I was not keeping up with.  Having her in the house has made us reexamine how we do things.  A little re-evaluation of our lives from her perspective.  Maxie is so very sensitive to things we take for granted - her sense of smell is so heightened that dishes that sit in the sink or laundry in the basket is not very pleasant for her.  Being the smallest member of the family, she is low the ground. She likes to plop herself wherever is most in her pleasure.

In our household, all four footed beings are LITTLE PEEPs - souls that needs response-ability in order to survive & thrive in our home.  The water must be changed fresh every day - food must be served - bowls cleaned  - floors swept - carpets shook -  blankets/bedding changed.  Then there's the daily brush - combing of fur to remove lodged in dirt and fleas.   And massage - slow touch and rubbing - connection of paws to hands.

Maxie is quite verbal - she meows loud enough to let you know when she wants your attention.  And when I don't get it, she nips at my ankles as if to lovingly remind me that she knows best.  The amazing thing is that all that she requests done in the house is something that benefits the household.  It keeps me current on my housework, house smelling clean and fresh.

Maxie loves to nap.  First, she naps by our feet.  And then, she climbs under the covers and lays by my body and starts to purr.   She reminds me to slow down and move away from my computer and head to my bed so I can stretch my whole body and rest.  She loves to take her siesta at the hottest time of day.   She is then refreshed for her afternoon jaunts in the garden.                                

Maxie is also very inquisitive - she jumps into or onto anything - no fear.   The other day she jumped onto the prickly tree we have out front.   As quick as she jumped on it, she bounced back.  Except she didn't go scampering away.  She was hobbling.  I called her over and pet her until she relaxed in my arms and let me pick her up. She had so many little sharp needle like protrusions sticking out of her baby paws and stuck in her fur.  As LoverBoy rubber under her chin, I slowly extracted what did not belong.

Maxie's coming into our lives has been such a blessing.  She is helping me with HOW I DO ANYTHING IN MY LIFE IS HOW I DO EVERYTHING.   What I remember thanks to Maxie is that there are no shortcuts and that a job worth doing is a job worth doing well.  And that if I am going to do it, I might as well as laugh about it and have a good time.    Thanks for being with us Maxie Meow and loving us just right.  And thahahank you my Brother from Another Mother Victor for bringing this angel into our lives at just the right MOMent.

Words that start with the Letter "F"

 

A few choice words playing on my mind this week - based on the yummy FEEDBACK I received from last week's Exploring Joy.   

 

Being with my parents for three days - under my FATHER's roof after being on my own, independent and married, was not easy.   While I managed to stay in my pleasure most of the time, I found myself experiencing FEELINGS that I was no longer FAMILIAR with.   Some of the feelings I was familiar with like FRUSTRATION (the waiting, this is not what I had planned,  difficult personalities) and FEAR (what is going to happen, not knowing how to help and what the future holds).  Some of the feelings were not even my own but rather those I picked up while taking my parents to their doctors and running errands for them.   Being in an environment that was not my own made it difficult to digest all these feelings.  

Over the years, I have learned to let my feelings come up and sit with them, no matter how uncomfortable they might be and do nothing but watch and learn.    As you sit through a feeling it gives you a gift - an appreciation for what it was you went through and what value it has in your life.  At my parents - three days - there was no time to sit through the barrage of emotions that was hahahappening.  While I was trying to stay calm and process my surroundings, I let myself become unconscious about FOOD.   

Being in someone else's space also meant I had to live by their haHAhabits and ways of being.  For my FATHER, FOOD has always been connected with pleasure.   As a child growing up in a Jewish household, FOOD was always something that brought our family together.  Every MOMent I remember had FOOD written all over it.  Going out to a nice restaurant was a treat, eating a piece of cake was a celebration.  FOOD was a reward that was deserved for working hard or accomplishing something.   

When I grew up and moved out, FOOD became a way to hide my FEELINGs.  It was also the easiest weapon of choice to hurt myself and cover up who I truly was.  Why FEEL when you can eat?  I might have continued with this FARCE except I got really sick in my late 20s-early 30s - a bout with FIBROMYALGIA and depression had me investigating all the FACETS of my life that did not work.  FOOD was the relationship I was most vested in - doing it daily and three times at that.  

What my research uncovered is that there were many FOODS that were detrimental to my body - it stayed in my body too long, it hurt to poop out, it remained as fat on my body and it messed up my hormones.  Many FOODs that had been staples of my diet were eliminated (bread, anything white, wheat, meat, chicken, fish, processed foods, cake, cookies, cereal, dairy products).

Over the last ten years, I've become truly conscious of what I consume - very much aware that what goes in must come out.  My research of FOOD has taught me that FOOD is FUEL FIRST.   Our bodies work like our car, the better the fuel, the greater the performance.   My lifestyle chaHAhanges added fruits and vegetables into my daily intake and I began to feel more energy and vitality.  I stopped cooking and learned to create rawlicious recipes using alkaline ingredients.  Over time, my desire for FOOD that once had a hold on me dissipated (bye bye pizza and ice cream).  I began to crave healthy juicy FOODS that were not emotionally connected to my memories.  I put in FUEL that was easy to digest and healthy for my body and easy to poop.  Raw juicy and nutritious Food brings me a different kind of pleasure than just smell and taste - I get wellbeing and FREEDOM.   No longer tied to breakfast, lunch and dinner, I eat when I need FUEL - when I feel hungry.

All that disappeared while I was at my parents.   While I meditated and walked, I was overwhelmed with FEELINGS and FOOD.   My parent's pantry was full of childhood staples (pistachios, hummus, chocolate cake, salads made with mayonnaise, Israeli couscous and bread).  I started eating FOOD that I would never bring into my house. However, here it was staring me in the FACE and I was serving it to my parents.  What hahahappened is I would taste it.  And then have a little more. Until I found myself FULL.   Eating more than my body could digest in one meal.  (One little sliver of chocolate cake, a handful of pistachios, some matbouchaHAha and Moroccan carrot salad).  While it tasted delicious, I noticed my energy became sluggish and my hahahappiness level slumped.   I came home 3 days later 3 pounds heavier.  FLUSTERED and feeling FOOLISH over this FIASCO, I slept for two whole days.

Appreciative for this experience, I felt FORTUNATE that I had the tools and the wisdom to FIX myself healthy again.  I juiced for three days straight - filling my body up with digestive enzymes and enough liquid to FLUSH anything that didn't belong within me out.  I also felt a great deal of FORGIVENESS to myself for putting myself in this situation.  Sometimes when you think you have resolved old issues and are in control, the Universe shows you a deeper layer of skin that needs to be shed.  I have such great appreciation for my FATHER for bringing up all my old ways of looking at things related to FOOD.   And for giving myself the opportunity to truly align myself - talk the talk and walk the walk.  Recommitting myself to my raw lifestyle and being gentle and compassionate with myself as I learn more.   Laughing at myself as I FALTER and FIND my way back to what works for me.   

EXPLORING JOY

Most people think that JOY is something outside of us - to be found or acquired.  Actually, it's an energy we knew how to access as children and over the years, we forgot.

JOY is a fire from within.  An energy of HAhaHAppy that gets ignited by touch, smell, sound and memory. It's a feeling - a birthright - that we get from the simplest of things.

JOY is about finding the pleasure right NOW.   Accepting ALL that is in our lives with grace.  Surrendering to the circumstances with gratitude.   And calling it all Research and Practice - to build our HAHA muscle and increase our HAhaHAppiness.

 

Now, for some of us - our life circumstances feel overwhelming or too haHAhard to handle.  That is where the lens of laughter makes life better.

For me, I spent the last three days with my parents - a sleepover of sorts.  

Dad was having trouble with his balance and Mom was still in a cast with no pressure allowed on her left foot.   They had no way to get around and a whole bunch of doctor's appointments the next day.   

LoverBoy and I decided that it would be easier if I spent a few days and helped my parents out until we could sort out what was going on.  

I myself was feeling exhaHAhausted.   I had a full day before this was thrown into my lap.  This was not part of the original plan. My energy was low  - my body needed a break and a nap.   That was not to be.  So, I did the next best thing.  I took a hot shower and lathered myself up.  I let the hot water take care of my tired bones and loved myself up.  I put on my most comfiest clothes and my biggest bhindi.   I packed a suitcase 

(clothes, computer, toiletries) and a box of necessities (orange juicer, smoothie bullet, a dozen oranges and grapefruits and a clump of baby bananas.  I cancelled all my appointments for the next few days so I could be free to focus on my parents.

That evening, in the pouring rain, LoverBoy drove me to Deerfield Beach.  We brought our dog GingerMama at my Dad's request.  He was craving her peaceful calm enerchi and the love only a dog can give.   While we prepped a healthy dinner (carrot salad, beet salad, hummus, babaghanoush, guacamole and crackers), GingerMama licked hands and let herself be pet and then she layed down at my mother's feet.  

We sat at the table and broke crackers.  And then LoverBoy and GingerMama left - with the garbage in tow.  

Here I was, a 45 year old daughter, sleeping over at my parents, back under my father's roof, again.   It felt a little strange.  What could I do to stay in my pleasure?  I massaged my Mom's feet, did the dishes and tucked my parents into bed by 9:00 pm.   I fixed myself a bed on the livingroom couch - went for a long walk under the great trees on the path - meditated - texted Loverboy goodnight and then somewhat fell asleep.   

The next morning at 6:30 am, I took my Mom to the swimming pool where they have a huge handicapped shower facility and lots of hot water.  As the sun was rising, we removed the cast and she sat on the bench and showered to her heart's delight.  I did too.   Feels so good to immerse in water and let your bones feel lithe and light.   We stretched and dressed and went home.   Great way to start the day with joy.

I pulled out the juicer and made seven oranges to one grapefruit - fresh juice without the pulp.  I love stimulating my digestive system with Vitamin C and powerful antioxidants.  More importantly, having my parents juice with me felt so good.  Introducing them to my morning rituals was an extra added benefit of sleeping over.  

An hour later, I blended bananas and strawberries and blueberries with some carrot juice for a delicious energizing smoothie. 

 So much yummy enerchi and so filling.    

Again, made enough for all three of us.  

We then headed out to Dad's doctor.   We left with 45 minutes to get there even though the doctor's  office was 15 minutes away.  It is in my pleasure to take my time, especially when driving.  It makes me as a driver calmer and aware and a more pleasurable experience for my passengers.  

After the doctor's office, we made a pitstop at Home Depot to return and exchange fluorescent lights.   Nice and easy - we parked and walked and put on a big pink jacket for the A/C effect.  We returned something and bought something.   No walking around and shopping mindlessly.  We knew what we needed - we located, purchased and left.  Totally in my pleasure.

We returned home and had a light lunch.   More salads and vegetables - yummy for my tummy.  And then some quiet time.  While my dad napped, Mom and I sat down and caught up with each other.  We put on some mood music and felt inspired to clean her closet - we went through the clothes and shoes and accessed the excess.  We left only what she loved and prepared a bag to donate of things she no longer needed. We cleaned up her filing cabinet and made her current and up-to-date.  I also fixed minor computer issues (modem, printer, internet) and pesky email settings.  

And then we sat to read (both of our favorite pastime).

 

What I found in these three days... as my parents are getting older and their bodies are wearing down, our roles are reversing.  As I caretake for them, I am more like their parent than their child and they sometimes definitely behave more like bratty kids than my parents.   The Circle of Life, I remind my father as he has had enough of my take care of stuff attitude (he likes to call me "bossy").  I give him space to vent and get used to this chahahange.

 

As such, their attitudes and words and behaviors can really get under one's skin.   

However, I kept my calm by staying in an attitude of gratitude (so grateful for this experience and humbled to take care of my parents in their time of need).   I remained in patience and quiet as I felt my parents' frustrations with their bodies grow.  I felt great compassion knowing what it is like to be in their situations - unable to take care of oneself because of infirmity or illness.   I stayed in my pleasure by breathing and putting on gentle music and reMEMBERing this labor of love I was here to do. I got us laughing as we learned to talk to Siri and text (Iphone lingo).  

And at night, when the day was over, and the parents in bed, I went walking - around the beautiful village on the path with the yummy trees and I moved my body until I got all the tension out and found my sweet spot of peace.  

I stayed in joy by taking exquisite self care of myself so I had enough energy to shaHAhare and care.

Life is as easy as you make it.   That does not mean there are no chaHAhallenges.   It's what you make of these opportunities to grow.  I decided for me, JOY in every MOMent was possible. I focused on making the experience with my parents enjoyable. I stayed conscious that this is my JOB - my Joy Of Being - peace 

and love just because. 

This week, I chahahallenge you to explore joy in every MOMent, especially those moments that really push your buttons.   Which of your senses can you use to be in your pleasure no matter where you find yourself?

ChaHAhange must be FUN

"Something as simple as fun is the easiest way to change people's

 behavior for the better"  

The Fun Theory 

I have always been a haHAhappy child.  

I vibrate to a peaceful haHAharmony.  I always look for the brighter side of things.  My enthusiasm is like sunshine radiating through me.

Somewhere from childhood to adult, I lost this ability to be hahahappy. I got wound up tight.  My cultural conditioning and upbringing had me finding faults, criticizing, tearing things down. Watching the news made me angry.  Seeing sad things brought me down. Drowning my feelings in food and bad haHAhabits kept me sedated instead of seeking answers. 

In fact, it was not until I had a nervous breakdown - three days of crying without being able to stop or control myself - that I re-examined my life as to what needed to change.  It felt like all the drawers fell out of my head and I wasn't sure how to put them back.  I remember LoverBoy's wise wonderful words - examine what's in the drawers and decide if they need to be put back at all. 

The chaHAhallenge became replacing old haHAhabits with new ones.  In order to do that and effective chaHAhange, my new haHAhabits had to be fun.  Otherwise, I would start and stop and shift back to the old ways.

For me, laughter yoga was a gift.  It was an opportunity to get in touch with my inner child again and laugh from my belly.  The light stretching and the movement put me in my body and out of my head.   The attitude of gratitude that I felt from building my HAHA muscle spilled over into other parts of my life as well.  It helped me chahahange my perspective and how I look at things.  It gave me a chahahance to laugh at myself and take life a little less seriously.

Most important, laughter yoga is fun.  I get to do the hokey pokey.   I speak in gibberish.  I roar like a lion.  I clap my hands and stomp my feet.  I shahahakti shahahake from my head down to my toes.    I go outside and laugh in nature - surrounded by trees or by the beach.   I feel good. Very good, very good, Yay!!!

It was the same when I was losing weight.  An extra 80 pounds on my small frame seemed impossible to remove and I tried for years.  Diets and exercise routines were so boring and hahahard and limiting.  These techniques made me lose my resolve instead of the fat.  

One day, a book I read suggested writing letters of forgiveness to whoever I was angry at.  Releasing anything that was within and needed to be expressed so I could chahahange internally.   After writing these letters, I stuffed them in a drawer.   Easy peasy!!! 

The book also suggested walking meditations.  Walking consciously and focusing on my environment and my breath instead of my thoughts.   And another book told me to just start by walking down the block and back home again.  For a week - until I got the hang of it.  Soon, I was walking daily - easy peasy.  

And then I got a dog.  My daily walk turned into 3-4 times a day walks.  It was so much fun to be outside with my dog(God) and meeting peeps in my neighborhood who had dogs.  Soon, I was walking my neighbor's dogs with my dog and then I was running.   I forgot about the weight and the weight came right off me.

For me, chaHAhanging anything requires having fun with it. When I chahanged my lifestyle from meat to no meat (vegetarian), I picked new ingredients I had never played with and found yummylicious recipes to try.   Seven years later, when I chahahanged my lifestyle from vegetarian to vegan I took online courses so I could study with the best.   The juiciest pictures and simplest recipes got my time and attention. 

When I decided to become raw, I needed support for this great big chahahange.  I became an organizer of a RawFood Meetup group and I set up Potlucks in exciting venues (farms, yoga studios, churches, markets).  I took pictures of the rawlicious dishes created and posted the recipes.  I would create recipes for my neighbors to try and raw chocolate to gently shift from one way of being to another.  I made it exciting to live this lifestyle to sustain my new habits.

With time, my research shows me that fun is whatever fuels my passion and helps me chahahange faster.  This makes chahahange engaging (we want to participate) and sustainable (we keep on doing it until it becomes permanent).  I choose what needs to be chahahanged and I examine how I can do it in a fun way.  

This usually requires some out of the box thinking.  The blessing is all the resources at our fingertips - at the time it was the power of the internet and Google - where we can ask and get all sorts of information on how to do things different (as well as videos so we can see the chahahanges too).  Now, I have SIRI.  I ask and she answers.  

This week's chahahange was a haircut.  Two years ago, after growing my hair for almost seven years, I cut it somewhat short.   I let go of 10 inches of hair and donated it to Wigs for Kids.  The thought of my hair helping a child warmed my heart and made it easy to create this chahahange.

Friday, I did it again.   This time I had my hair cut short to my chin and let go of 10 inches of hair.  I planned an evening event with people who love me the most, my family, so they could support this radical chahahange in my life.   Nothing like glowing in the bask of compliments from people who truly love you to help you adapt to your chahahanges.   

I chahahallenge you this week to chahahange one thing in your life and find a fun way to implement it.   Shahahare with me below what it's going to be and how I can support you in making this chahahange fun and permanent.