DARING GREATLY

I've been dealing with a lot of grief this year.   My LittleMan Zeko left his little body behind.  Two of my neighbours passed away.  Major illness in the family and lots of change of plans.  At times, it would have been easy to hide and keep it all inside.   Writing about it and sharing this with my HAHA tribe has helped me tremendously in processing all my feelings - sadness, shame, regret, joy, exhilaration, confusion, pain, gratitude, trepidation and discomfort.

Through it all, I keep on laughing.  I keep seeking what is juicy and true for me.  I delve deep to find my sacred impenetrable spot within - where I find joy and peacefulness - and share it all - with you.   Sometimes, I think perhaps I am sharing TMI - too much information.  Sometimes, I think this is so very personal - no one will understand and they'll think I'm bat shit crazy (thank you SisterGoddess Tara Gentile and Tedx).  

Feelings are oh so deep. HArdwired.  A current running through you and taking control of your muscles - melting me with its heat and intensity.  Like Laughter.  When it erupts, I have no choice but to lean in and let the vibration rock my body.   And it feels so good.

I've learned to LEAN IN (thank you SisterGoddess Cheryl Sandberg) and BREATHE.  I sit right on the edge of my body boundaries and expand my heart.  I BREATHE into the feelings and the sensations hahappening in my body.  I pay attention and connect with my body's wise ways.  I listen to what my lower back is sharing about the tension I am experiencing.  And my belly contracting as she rides a wave of fear.  I BREATHE and connect hands on heart to hear her beat - steady and strong.

I surrender to this process of feeling and delve deep into the abundance of emotions I have.  And I express in whatever way I can.  I paint.  I pray.  I write.  I play.  I sing.  I plant.  I practice.  I repeat.

I research techniques to help me chahange the chahannel when I feel stuck.  I embody the feelings and move them through me by shakti shaking and dancing.  I use music to switch gears and shift vibrations.  I connect with a SisterGoddess and serve.  I hold sacred space to listen and love and learn.

The OMazing thing about being vulnerable is how good it feels to FEEL.  To express and release.   To share the good, the bad and the ugly and bring it to the surface and flip it over so it can be transmuted and metamorphosized like a caterpillar to a butterfly.    Daring Greatly is to embrace vulnerability and imperfection and to live wholeheartedly and to courageously engage in our lives.  Simply put, to put my whole self in.

As quoted from Brene Brown's book, Daring Greatly:

As “I define vulnerability as uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure. With that definition in mind, let’s think about love. Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can’t ensure, who may stay in our lives or may leave without a moment’s notice, who may be loyal to the day they die or betray us tomorrow — that’s vulnerability.”