Life before the big "C"

I was in Rome recently - I spent 4 days in the city with a groove Goddess from Denmark checking out the sites (we saw Goddess Athena she kept on beckoning), cruising on the canals, and finding hidden gems. 

 I was about to meet a group of girlfriends to celebrate La Dolce Vita in Tuscany a la groove style (www.worldgroovemovement.com). And then he was at the doctor's office - me listening in while sitting at dinner on the river - listening on WhatsApp to the consultation with a hematologist for a high white blood cell count reading. 

 The doctor walked in and started yelling - these numbers are too high - you have Chronic Lumphoma Leukemia and you need to be in a hospital right now. Again, screaming as the doctor found out there was no insurance - what the chemotherapy treatment is $15,000/month. We will put you in touch with the Hope Network and you need to work with them to get insurance so we can start you on treatment right away. He had only just met his patient and delivered this news in a cold disparaging way that left no space for comments, rational thought or even discussion. 

 How can someone say something about you and your longevity and it immediately changes your life - not that it changes who you were five minutes before you knew AND it changes everything in your life from that moment on. 

 I decided it would be best to support my beloved from this kind of medical treatment and canceled the remaining part of my trip to Italy to fly home and be there in person to deal with this diagnosis. A few days later, I am home. 

 We go to the beach to connect and decompress and absorb the impact of these words. We listen to the waves. We surrender to the Universe and wait for words of wisdom or the next step or a message to appear. 

 I remember this movie I saw 20 years ago called "How Healing Became a Crime" - and how this vet called Hoxsey put a horse out to pasture because of cancer. When checking on his horse, he noticed she was eating grasses and herbs that were reversing the effects of cancer on her skin. He made a paste to use on animals and eventually humans and it gave people with cancer relief and sometimes even a cure.  

This is what I found on the internet about it: In 1924, Harry Hoxsey (the grandson) claimed a cure for cancer, herbal remedies discovered by his great-grandfather. Thousands of patients swore the treatment cured them, but medical authorities branded Hoxsey the worst cancer quack of the 20th century and he was arrested more times than any other man in medical history. By the 1950s, Hoxsey's Texas clinic was the largest private cancer center in the word with branches in 17 states. Two federal courts upheld the therapeutic value of the treatment. Even his arch-nemesis, the AMA, admitted his treatment was effective against some forms of cancer. Although Hoxsey won almost all the battles, finally he lost the war and moved the clinic to Tijuana, Mexico, where it continues to claim an 80% success rate today. The film exposes the overall failure of the War on Cancer, while revealing how yesterday's "unorthodox" treatments are emerging as tomorrow's medicine. It probes other promising unconventional cancer treatments that have also been condemned without investigation, delving deeply into the powerful economic forces behind this suppression. 

 We decided to go the Hoxsey route - we found the clinic in Tijuana - www.hoxseybiomedical.com and made an appointment to visit. 

 Before flying to San Diego, California to get driven over the border with medical transport permissions, we did some more blood tests (very high white blood cell count, very low red bloow dell count, very low hemoglobin) and some CT scans showing lumps in his lymphs. Even though we felt hopeful and curious about this new healing adventure, deep inside we were very scared - conventional chemotherapy and radiation were not even options that we could consider - poisoning yourself will never help you heal. We flew into San Diego from Fort Lauderdale - we drove over the bridge to Coronado so we could be close to VitaminSea.

I call it LIfe Before the Big "C" because people think about you differently once you tell them you were diagnosed with Cancer. They make sad or squinty faces and apologize for something they didnt do. They mean well, of course, however, that is not how it comes across. It sounds like a death blow that has been already decided regardless of what is asked next. Keep my hopes up and my mind focused on this challenge the Universe presented me and my beloved with so we can see and feel more connected to our bodies and what they are trying to say.