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“Peace involves inevitable righteousness, justice, wholesomeness, fullness of life, participation in decision making, goodness, laughter, joy, compassion, sharing and reconciliation. “ Desmond Tutu
Are you your own toughest critic? Do you turn on yourself the moment life starts getting rough? Does the voice inside of your head go on and on about all the things you did wrong or could have done different? Do you become so serious when learning something new instead of cutting yourself some slack and having a beginner's mind?
I can say an empathic YES to all of the questions above. I am tougher on myself than anybody "out there". I have been known to be my own judge, jury and executioner. There's even a label for the way I was - Type A personality - competitive and self-critical and a perfectionist. I took life way too seriously and was totally self-centered in my little world.
As a child of two schoolteachers, I have always felt the pressure to excel and be the best in whatever I chose to do. Once I grew up and found a home of my own, I was unaware that my parents' voices had found a residence in my mind (once you hear something often enough, it gets recorded and embedded in our brains).
My ex-husband used to play me an ELO song to help me lighten up:
I can say an empathic YES to all of the questions above. I am tougher on myself than anybody "out there". I have been known to be my own judge, jury and executioner. There's even a label for the way I was - Type A personality - competitive and self-critical and a perfectionist. I took life way too seriously and was totally self-centered in my little world.
As a child of two schoolteachers, I have always felt the pressure to excel and be the best in whatever I chose to do. Once I grew up and found a home of my own, I was unaware that my parents' voices had found a residence in my mind (once you hear something often enough, it gets recorded and embedded in our brains).
My ex-husband used to play me an ELO song to help me lighten up:
Can it really be so serious? To be all broken up and delirious.
I guess we've really been out of touch. But can it really be so serious?
(serious, so serious)
I thought things had to be perfect. And that I could control everything. Hahaha. These beliefs caused me great stress and eventually illness. Rather than chahahange my lifestyle, I tried to find coping mechanisms - such as cigarettes and food.
It took years to understand that I couldn't change my life with external things. Yoga and meditation helped me go within and hear the voices and see the old patterns that were not serving me. What I did learn along the way is that the only thing I have control over is my attitude. To get upset and sick or to laugh and relax. I chose to learn how to laugh at myself. I decided to get over myself and take myself less seriously.
It took years to understand that I couldn't change my life with external things. Yoga and meditation helped me go within and hear the voices and see the old patterns that were not serving me. What I did learn along the way is that the only thing I have control over is my attitude. To get upset and sick or to laugh and relax. I chose to learn how to laugh at myself. I decided to get over myself and take myself less seriously.
The ability to laugh at ourselves promotes self-acceptance. We demonstrate vulnerability and our humanness. It also become a positive coping mechanism that improves our mood, and builds our self esteem. And there's science to back that up: Being able to laugh at ourselves may be a sign of an optimistic personality and a sense of humor, according to a 2011 study. It also floods our bodies with endorphins, feel good hormones, which alters our moods. Moreover, it helps us build resilience (makes us flexible so we can bounce back and toughen up so we can withstand).
Learning to build my HAHA muscle and laugh at myself shifted my entire world. As my HAHA muscle got stronger, I looked at the world through the lens of laughter. As I laughed, I found love for myself - for the courageous soul that keeps on showing up and trying again and taking two steps forward even if one step is sometimes backwards. As my love grew, so did my compassion - the emotion within me that helps me be gentle with myself.
I practiced detaching from the thoughts that were not serving me. I would thank them for sharing and surrender them into my breath. Over time, I was amazed to see that my heart could expand to hahahandle pretty much anything.
I practiced detaching from the thoughts that were not serving me. I would thank them for sharing and surrender them into my breath. Over time, I was amazed to see that my heart could expand to hahahandle pretty much anything.
Once I learned how to be compassionate with myself (nonjudgmental and unconditional approval for ALL of me) I had enough in my reservoir to shahare with others.
Brene Brown's video below explains it so well.
Brene Brown's video below explains it so well.
Once I learned how to be compassionate with myself (nonjudgmental and unconditional approval for ALL of me) I had enough in my reservoir to shahare with others. Brene Brown's video below explains it so well.
I have a strong desire to see peace on this planet in my lifetime so I am working on all these components that Desmond Tutu mentions above. I am building muscles that were always there. Patiently learning how to flex and tone these muscles so I am ready for the chahahange that is blowing in the wind.
Compassion is the new fashion. That is the highest form of coolness and kindness.
From my heart to yours,
LoveCAT Goddess
I have a strong desire to see peace on this planet in my lifetime so I am working on all these components that Desmond Tutu mentions above. I am building muscles that were always there. Patiently learning how to flex and tone these muscles so I am ready for the chahahange that is blowing in the wind.
Compassion is the new fashion. That is the highest form of coolness and kindness.
From my heart to yours,
LoveCAT Goddess
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