SERENITY of WE

The Universe has an OMazing sense of humor and is constantly helping us laugh at ourselves.   When I first met LoverBoy (oops WSM NoahaHAha) it was over the phone.  We talked for hours.  We connected so deeply and enjoyed the conversation.   And then we never talked again.  Three years later, I moved to Miami and bumped into him again.  And just like that we started talking again.  A conversation we have been having for the last sixteen years.

There was not always this easy peasy feeling between us.   I had no idea how to be in a relationship.  I would fly off into a tantrum when I didn't get my way or my feelings were hurt.  I would cuss and yell as if that would get my point across better.  In my anger or rage there was no place for unconditional love.  In having to be right, someone had to be wrong.  And with my Egyptian Romanian gypsy background, the passion of a good fight would overcome the compassion of our love.   It wasn't the words I was using but how I was saying it - the energy of my feelings..

One day, WSM NOahaHAha had enough.    He told me that with the words coming out of my mouth,we would never have a family together.   That gave me a pause.  Stopped to think about what I was putting out into the Universe and what curses I was sending his way and if it was getting me the results that I wanted - a peaceful loving relationship with my man.    

I got truly silent and meditated.   I got a little loud and practiced my laughter yoga.   I shook my body and shaHAhakti shaked until I got true with myself.   And then I made a decision.  To treat him like I wanted to be treated.   To make a conscious effort to breathe and respond instead of react.   To contain my anger and let it simmer so I could really see what was burning my fire.    

I gave WSM NOahaHAha a nickname, LoverBoy.   Because that is how I saw him and how I desired he would behave.  I would go for long walks when I was angry or irritated.  I would laugh about my situation and breathe deep into my diaphragm.    And LoverBoy no longer became the mirror to my behaviour - what you give, you get goes the golden rule.  We became bestest of friends with courtesy and caring.

I committed to loving.   Speaking gently, making kindness my religion, and taking myself less seriously.  In making this decision, I became calmer.  I took up yoga to support my body and pilates to strengthen and lengthen my bones.  I meditated and chaHAhanted to clear my mind.  Together, LoverBoy and I continued our laughter practice, cultivating and stretching our HAHA muscles - learning new techniques to cope with chaHAhange and chaHAhallenge.

I became peaceful with what is - who and how I am and who and how he is.   I found things that were right about him and me - and truly appreciating our quirks and our unique abilities.   I relaxed and started having fun.  And that made life easy peasy for our love to grow.

16 years - we are feeling the serenity of WE - the comfortable silence, the groove of trying new things (we took introductory flying lessons this weekend), the nooks and crannies of our bodies and how well we can spoon together.

It is so very good to be part of a relationship that warms your heart - that gives you something to look forward to and eager to get home to.  And without the mama drama - the words get replaced with feelings of love that seek to commune and connect.

I am grateful to LoverBoy for being in my life - for his wisdom and big heart - his kindness and love.  I am grateful for the opportunity to be WE together, in serenity.   WE are all One.