Radiance

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. 

We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. 

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. ..... 

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” 
        ― Marianne Williamson, Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"

I remember the first time I read these words.  These lines made me stop and sigh.   And then cry.

What was she saying?   That I might be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?  Who me?   

At the time, I was a paralegal in a downtown Miami firm.  I left my house at 7:00 a.m. and got home at 7:00 p.m.   I was a peon in the cog called LAW  - one of many paralegals in this space who read through boxes of paper to find some evidence to corroborate what our clients wanted argued or defended.

I was seventy pounds overweight.  I was unhappy - in a sick building all day long.   My only forays into nature were for cigarette breaks.     I was dealing with angry clients, bored clerks and frustrated attorneys .    I wore pantyhose and uncomfortable suit jackets and skirts with high heel shoes in order to fit into the corporate culture.   I was definitely not feeling brilliant, gorgeous, talented or fabulous.

Once you hear or read something that conflicts with what your reality is - it's like a grain of sand stuck between your toes.   You can still function but you feel it, you know it's there.   Truth is like that.  It might not match your experience but it sits there inside your soul, resonating with your heart and who you be.  Building its momentum until one day you decide to do different to match what you be.

That's what it was like for me.  I had to leave the law firm and the drives to Miami.  I had to re-examine who I thought I was and what I thought I knew.   Letting all the drawers and compartments in my head fall out and examining them in the light of day.

I had to learn to like myself - truly, madly, deeply.  As I was in that MOMent.  And then have a passionate love affair with me, myself and I.

I embraced meditation to clear the clutter in my mind.  I took up yoga to make my body strong and flexible.   I started to chaHAhant so I could hear my voice and sing myself love songs.  (Shima - Shima - Shimaya - LOVE)

As I looked at my past and all the chaHAhallenges and childhood I survived, I began to see my brilliance.   As I started loving myself, I embodied gorgeous - an inner beauty that shines through (no makeup or heels required).   I found what I was passionate about and what I loved doing.   My talents emerged.  

And fabulous - of course, fabulous.  

It took teaching hundreds of Laughter Yoga classes, being an Artist and expressing myself, teaching myself how to be a Vegetarian/Vegan and a Certified RawFood Chef, holding & creating sacred spaces for Full Moon drumming circles,  

transforming myself in to a drag queen twice, organizing flash mobs, jumping out of an airplane, learning to fly, and my favorite:

   

being an Auntie to eight nieces and nephews and nine cousins and all these Little Ones who bless my life (kids and animals) 

and being blessed to be a guardian to GingerMama and the Meows and the wife of Loverboy to see just how fabulous I am.  And now I know.  

Daily OM writes:   

 "Stepping out of the wings and letting your light shine is actually a way to serve the planet. We each have a responsibility to contribute to our community, and we do this when we let ourselves be seen.  It doesn’t do anyone any good when we try to hide. We are all beings of light and we are here to light the way for each other ..... Shine your light out into the world, bless those around you by sharing your gifts, and watch the universe glow."

Each day I commit to shining a little bit more - big love in small ways.   Just being and letting that ripple out into our Universe.

Off to laugh and shine and glow.

I AM OMazing - YOU ARE OMazing - WE ARE OMazing

Woohoo!!!