DISCIPLINE of LAUGHING at YOURSELF

LAUGHing is a birthRIGHT.  We all know how to do it.  We don't even have to think about it.  Something tickles our funny bone and it just comes out.  A great big HA HA HA. Over the years, certain factors might have prevented us from developing our HA HA superPowers.   In fact, some of us have stopped laughing.  Too stressed to let it out and laugh at ourselves.  Taking ourselves a little too seriously. That is why WE practice.  We build our HA HA muscle one baby step at a time - slowly and consistently.   Our HA HA discipline includes showing up to HA HA with WE three times (3x)  a week.  So we can easily laugh at ourselves.  Why do we HAHA?   To reduce our stress - to release any negative thoughts that might be circulating - to relax our bodies and minds - to breathe deeper. And of course, for my stubborn peeps who need the scientific PROOF - check it out below - LAUGHing at yourself is GOOD for you.  We know it's Very Good, Very Good, Yay. The British Psychological Society shares more about this first ever experimental research into laughing at oneself.  Click HERE to read what they found.  Or read Time Magazine's article HERE on this study(thank you SG Funs).

UNITY

This week's prayer emerged from last week's prayer - OPPORTUNITY became UNITY.  It felt really important to me to put this intention out into the Universe.  This weekend with a Full Moon and a lunar eclipse and now going into Mercury Retrograde (10-21 through 10-27-13), I am rethinking my relationships to others and how I can make a difference in my life at this time on our planet.

Over the last 12 years, I changed my lifestyle, my diet, my habits, my beliefs.  I researched how my body works and what my input and output is.  I let go and surrendered any layers of skin which no longer served me. I built ma HAHA muscle and created an attitude of gratitude which permeates my life.  More specifically, what kind of vibrational energy I emit and how that attracts people and opportunities into my life.

At this moment, when I dig deep within, what I find is residue.   Like stripping an onion to its core, layer after layer after layer, until we reach the heart, the sweetest part.   It is the same with ME.  As I progressed inward in my understanding of myself, I went from surface issues (weight, addictions, beliefs) to deeper truths (feelings, imprints, values).   Getting to the bottom of what lays hidden - reaching deep into the mud where the lotus grows her roots.

Getting in touch with my darker side.  Bringing it to the light so I can liberate the parts of myself that got buried with unacceptable feelings.  Exposing that which is shielded from view.  Getting INtense and aligned.  Revealing to ME that my understanding of WE was simply incomplete.  Unlearning what I thought was truth and tenet.  Like all the people who believed the world was flat and had to let that belief go and embrace that the world is round. 

As I explore this place in my life, a saying rolls around in my head - "a chain is only as strong as its a chain is only as strong as its weakest link."  

No matter how peaceFULL and powerFULL I become, I am still connected to the collective.   A quote from the lovely SisterGoddess Marion Anderson says it clearly and concisely:

“No matter how big a nation is, it is no stronger that its weakest people, and as long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you might otherwise”.     

We cannot soar when we are weighed down.  And misery loves company.  As we let go of our layers and shine, we allow others to do the same.  As we let go of our cultural "truths" that destroy our wellbeing, we reclaim our power, our health and our abunDANCE.   

I am finding deep emotional understanding - compassion and empathy for me and you and we.    I am releasing and dropping the weight of the stories I carry around.  I am writing the book my soul has been yearning to shaHAhare.  I am ready to surrender these stories and reclaim my power - as a child of God, as a WOman, as a link on the chain, as part of the WE are all ONE.   As I release these HIStories I feel the matriarchal magic embracing me and reMINDing me of HERstories - a new reality - a peaceful planet.

Collaborating in community and Sisterhood and Brotherhood with peeps willing to consciously create as a species another way of BEing.   Each lesson we learn, each new aHA MOMent, each choice for the Highest Good transforms the darkness to light, and makes it easier for those who follow on my path.

My prayer today is for UNITY - may I surrender ME for WE , May I seek the highest good for all ♥, may I reMEMBER we are all ONE 

Imagine there is no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky

Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion, too

Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You, you may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you will join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man

Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You, you may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you will join us
And the world will live as one

Read more: John Lennon - Imagine Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Opportunity

 

"You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees

for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves."
- an excerpt from Wild Geese by Mary Oliver

I love these words. I love how they resonate in my heart and make me feel. I love the thought of "SOFT ANIMAL OF MY BODY " loving what it loves.

I was first introduced to the words of SisterGoddess Mary Oliver by a wonderful SisterGoddess named Dr. Jane Miner who I met at the Green Valley Spa in Utah. She shared with me Mary Oliver's The Journey.

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice--
though the whole house began to tremble
and you felt the old tug at your ankles.

"Mend my life!" each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried with its stiff fingers at the very foundations,

though their melancholy was terrible.
It was already late enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen branches and stones.
But little by little, as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice which you slowly recognized as your own,
that kept you company as you strode deeper and deeper into the world,

determined to do the only thing you could do--
determined to save the only life you could save .

These words started me on my journey to find the soft animal within and finally be FREE. It gave me an OPPORTUNITY to question and explore different paths then what I felt was the "WAY" dictated by our society and enforced by the media and movies and magazines. It made me reassess what I really thought I had to do.

Sister Goddess Mary's words and Sister Goddess Jane's life coaching (her prodding and wonderful questions) gave me permission to listen to that one quiet voice within and turn off all the other voices (within and outside of me) who were directing me how and who to be.

Slowly, slowly, one baby step at a time, I shed the trappings of who I thought I was a

and what I thought I had to do. I let go of what I thought was aesthetically pleasing and let my true ANIMAL nature come out.

I let my hair grow long, I stopped making it lighter or darker depending on the season and let my natural color and glow return.

No more heels - tee hee!!! and no more back-aches, head-aches, bunions. Finally letting my spine realign itself for comfort and ease of body rather than "having to do" sexy.

No more make-up. No more layers of color to make myself look better or enhance my self. Just me the way Nature intended me to be.

No more perfumes to give me a scent that is not my own. My true scent, my soft animal scent is so very appealing it seems to be attracting all sorts of interesting people & Meows and Bow Wows into my life. Tee hee!!!

And the funny thing is letting go of all these things that I thought I had to do has given me permission to be real. Not having to do any thing has freed up so much energy and time. It gave me the OPPORTUNITY to find out about ME - what I am passionate about, what revs up my juices, what I truly love. It freed me to BE instead of do - back to being a HUMAN BEAN instead of a human doing.

GUMPTION

Sometimes the truth hurts.

That's when I most need to hear it.

I have to find the courage to face up to things.

Even if it's not what I want to hear.

The other day I threatened Loverboy. It was meant to be humorous. It just popped out over my lips and exhaled right out of my mouth as I put my forearm on the table and made a fist with my left hand .

"You see my fist?" I told him.

I was frustrated, crampy, tired, irritated, feeling mucho uncomfortable and not honoring myself and doing something about it. It's that time of the month when I am flowing. We both know that on these days it is best for me to exercise gently (walk and swim) and rest ( alot of napping and lolling about). 

I chose to do differently. So many things to DO. Nervous about the whole family coming over and having my sacred space ready to welcome all.   Running around in every direction to get things ready when what my body needed was rest.  Finally, the stress on my body took its toll. 

We were sitting having lunch, Loverboy and Mom (the witness) and me.  Whatever he was saying was aggravating me.  Rather then face up to myself and breathe, I took the road very much traveled in my unconscious years - force.  I made a fist with my right hand and said:  "Do you see this?"

He made me laugh. "Your fist? Is that a threat?" He told Mom and me how some of the hairs on his forearm jumped up in fear when they saw my fist rise.  He mentioned that this would be seen as Assault in some places.  We all started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation.  Then I was crying and laughing - the emotional brouhaHAha released.  My feeling valve loosened, the tears began to flow.

What a blessing this man is, always defusing a situation. Being my mirror and helping me see all facets of me.   Thahahank you Universe for putting us together and giving us fifteen fabulous years together.   Thahahank you LoverBoy for helping me laugh.

Thahahank Goddess for my Mom, the witness.  She pointed out - you wouldn't like it if someone said that to you and showed your their fist.   She's right, I would feel intimidated.  Then she added - "Is that what you're going to do when you have kids?"  Of course, LoverBoy and Mom started laughing again - at me, with me, for me. 

Sobering thought.   How do we beHAVE when under stress?   Is it the softer side that appears or the reflex of habits of years of imprints that rises to the surface?   As a child, a raised eyebrow would send me into submission and to my room.  What was I thinking by raising my fist?   

Iconically, in our society, it is Rosie the Riveter, a propaganda campaign created by the US Government to convince women we had a patriotic duty to enter the workforce during World War II.  She is the image of the raised fist and the strong woman.

Sometimes it's hard to swallow your own medicine - see yourself as reflected by those who surround you.   Then you learn to breathe through the lump of EGO and laugh.  And do whatever it takes to come from LOVE.

For me, that is GUMPTION - breaking through my fears and doing what I am meant to do - with LOVE.   It's the purrpose of my life.  Being vulnerable and turning my struggles into ART.   Being a LOVECat and shaHAharing my story so that I can heal myself and help others in the process.

.

Here's another kind of Gumption:

Gumption from 12Stone Church on Vimeo.

Radiance

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. 

We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. 

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. ..... 

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” 
        ― Marianne Williamson, Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"

I remember the first time I read these words.  These lines made me stop and sigh.   And then cry.

What was she saying?   That I might be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?  Who me?   

At the time, I was a paralegal in a downtown Miami firm.  I left my house at 7:00 a.m. and got home at 7:00 p.m.   I was a peon in the cog called LAW  - one of many paralegals in this space who read through boxes of paper to find some evidence to corroborate what our clients wanted argued or defended.

I was seventy pounds overweight.  I was unhappy - in a sick building all day long.   My only forays into nature were for cigarette breaks.     I was dealing with angry clients, bored clerks and frustrated attorneys .    I wore pantyhose and uncomfortable suit jackets and skirts with high heel shoes in order to fit into the corporate culture.   I was definitely not feeling brilliant, gorgeous, talented or fabulous.

Once you hear or read something that conflicts with what your reality is - it's like a grain of sand stuck between your toes.   You can still function but you feel it, you know it's there.   Truth is like that.  It might not match your experience but it sits there inside your soul, resonating with your heart and who you be.  Building its momentum until one day you decide to do different to match what you be.

That's what it was like for me.  I had to leave the law firm and the drives to Miami.  I had to re-examine who I thought I was and what I thought I knew.   Letting all the drawers and compartments in my head fall out and examining them in the light of day.

I had to learn to like myself - truly, madly, deeply.  As I was in that MOMent.  And then have a passionate love affair with me, myself and I.

I embraced meditation to clear the clutter in my mind.  I took up yoga to make my body strong and flexible.   I started to chaHAhant so I could hear my voice and sing myself love songs.  (Shima - Shima - Shimaya - LOVE)

As I looked at my past and all the chaHAhallenges and childhood I survived, I began to see my brilliance.   As I started loving myself, I embodied gorgeous - an inner beauty that shines through (no makeup or heels required).   I found what I was passionate about and what I loved doing.   My talents emerged.  

And fabulous - of course, fabulous.  

It took teaching hundreds of Laughter Yoga classes, being an Artist and expressing myself, teaching myself how to be a Vegetarian/Vegan and a Certified RawFood Chef, holding & creating sacred spaces for Full Moon drumming circles,  

transforming myself in to a drag queen twice, organizing flash mobs, jumping out of an airplane, learning to fly, and my favorite:

   

being an Auntie to eight nieces and nephews and nine cousins and all these Little Ones who bless my life (kids and animals) 

and being blessed to be a guardian to GingerMama and the Meows and the wife of Loverboy to see just how fabulous I am.  And now I know.  

Daily OM writes:   

 "Stepping out of the wings and letting your light shine is actually a way to serve the planet. We each have a responsibility to contribute to our community, and we do this when we let ourselves be seen.  It doesn’t do anyone any good when we try to hide. We are all beings of light and we are here to light the way for each other ..... Shine your light out into the world, bless those around you by sharing your gifts, and watch the universe glow."

Each day I commit to shining a little bit more - big love in small ways.   Just being and letting that ripple out into our Universe.

Off to laugh and shine and glow.

I AM OMazing - YOU ARE OMazing - WE ARE OMazing

Woohoo!!!

RADICAL TRANSPARENCY

We've all got struggles, worries and fears. Why are we afraid or ashaHAhamed of how we really feel at times? Who are we trying to impress? What makes us put on a smile and pretend when that is not what we are feeling on the inside?

My dad asked me to write about this so I can shed some light or have an A-ha MOMent on the relationship I have with my brother.

When we were young we were very close.  Like peas in a pod.  We would fight and blame each other and then we'd make up and be inseparable.  When I was seventeen, my brother and Dad went to live in Milwaukee for a year to set up a new home and space for us.  The next year my Mom and I followed.  My brother had turned into a teenager.  We still shared MOMents (Eddie Murphy RAW and other concerts) but we were drifting in different worlds (highschool and college).   And then the family moved back to Canada and I stayed in the United States. My brother and I drifted further apart. 

And then my brother was all grown up and getting married.   Started a family of his own.  Married a smart and beautiful woman who gave me a nephew and niece.  And we got closer again because of the children.

Recently, I went to visit my brother and his family.  I went there to help out while my sister-in-law was recuperating from surgery.  Being the LOVECat that I am and my desire to help and heal and share, I overextended myself.  

I would get up early to take care of the dog and help my sister-in-law get settled and then do laundry and clean up the kitchen.  I would forgo nap time to prepare lunch or go buy groceries or hang with my niece.  I would get to bed late.  After five days of this routine, I began to feel exhausted and cranky and resentful.   And I still put a smile on my face and resumed with my self-imposed responsibilities.

Here's the thing - when what we feel and what we say does not align, there is bound to be an explosion.  Like a ball being held under the surface of the water, the moment you release the pressure, it pops right out.

The first one, again, self-imposed.  Having lost my focus, I fell off a  curb and landed splat on the pavement.   Sprained my ankle and scraped off skin from my knee, elbow, cheek, ear and forehead.  That definitely slowed me down a whole bunch.  It made it more difficult to function and easier to listen to what was not being said.

The second explosion came from my surroundings.  Again, people feel the vibration you are putting out and respond to that more than to your words.  One day later, my sister-in-law blew up at me.  A disagreement turned mean when she lashed out in anger, saying things that truly hurt.  I cried and then laughed about (thanks to my niece reminding me that laughing about it would make it easier to haHAhandle).  Since then, my brother and I have not talked.

Now, as I write about it, I forgive myself.  I take responsibility for my part - not recognizing the energy I was putting out.  

It's kind of like the weather.  While it's nice for it to be sunny all the time, we also go through cloudy days and thunderstorms and rain. When that hahahappens, we need an umbrella or some shelter.  

I could have taken care of me and replenished my batteries instead of acting like everything was fine when that was not what I was feeling inside.  I could have taken a time out and laughed at myself.  I could have nurtured me before going on to nurture others.  I could have asked questions and gained clarity before making assumptions.

 And so the Universe taught me once again to feel what I am feeling and do no haHAharm (Ahimsa).   Moodiness is not a victimless crime.  I was reMINDed that when I am not feeling great to go off and be in whatever mood I need to be until that too passes.

When I sit  with what I am feeling and experience it, I learn alot about myself.  I find the love in the MOMent and can shift my mindset. I breathe deep and find the attitude of gratitude that finds the blessings in even this kind of experience.  I laugh about the words which were momentarily and remember the feelings we've shared over the years.

And when my brother is ready to talk to me, he will find the door open and the heart accommodating.  

With radical transparency, I release myself of this incident and know that LOVE and time heals all wounds and that this too shaHAhall pass.

SERENITY of WE

The Universe has an OMazing sense of humor and is constantly helping us laugh at ourselves.   When I first met LoverBoy (oops WSM NoahaHAha) it was over the phone.  We talked for hours.  We connected so deeply and enjoyed the conversation.   And then we never talked again.  Three years later, I moved to Miami and bumped into him again.  And just like that we started talking again.  A conversation we have been having for the last sixteen years.

There was not always this easy peasy feeling between us.   I had no idea how to be in a relationship.  I would fly off into a tantrum when I didn't get my way or my feelings were hurt.  I would cuss and yell as if that would get my point across better.  In my anger or rage there was no place for unconditional love.  In having to be right, someone had to be wrong.  And with my Egyptian Romanian gypsy background, the passion of a good fight would overcome the compassion of our love.   It wasn't the words I was using but how I was saying it - the energy of my feelings..

One day, WSM NOahaHAha had enough.    He told me that with the words coming out of my mouth,we would never have a family together.   That gave me a pause.  Stopped to think about what I was putting out into the Universe and what curses I was sending his way and if it was getting me the results that I wanted - a peaceful loving relationship with my man.    

I got truly silent and meditated.   I got a little loud and practiced my laughter yoga.   I shook my body and shaHAhakti shaked until I got true with myself.   And then I made a decision.  To treat him like I wanted to be treated.   To make a conscious effort to breathe and respond instead of react.   To contain my anger and let it simmer so I could really see what was burning my fire.    

I gave WSM NOahaHAha a nickname, LoverBoy.   Because that is how I saw him and how I desired he would behave.  I would go for long walks when I was angry or irritated.  I would laugh about my situation and breathe deep into my diaphragm.    And LoverBoy no longer became the mirror to my behaviour - what you give, you get goes the golden rule.  We became bestest of friends with courtesy and caring.

I committed to loving.   Speaking gently, making kindness my religion, and taking myself less seriously.  In making this decision, I became calmer.  I took up yoga to support my body and pilates to strengthen and lengthen my bones.  I meditated and chaHAhanted to clear my mind.  Together, LoverBoy and I continued our laughter practice, cultivating and stretching our HAHA muscles - learning new techniques to cope with chaHAhange and chaHAhallenge.

I became peaceful with what is - who and how I am and who and how he is.   I found things that were right about him and me - and truly appreciating our quirks and our unique abilities.   I relaxed and started having fun.  And that made life easy peasy for our love to grow.

16 years - we are feeling the serenity of WE - the comfortable silence, the groove of trying new things (we took introductory flying lessons this weekend), the nooks and crannies of our bodies and how well we can spoon together.

It is so very good to be part of a relationship that warms your heart - that gives you something to look forward to and eager to get home to.  And without the mama drama - the words get replaced with feelings of love that seek to commune and connect.

I am grateful to LoverBoy for being in my life - for his wisdom and big heart - his kindness and love.  I am grateful for the opportunity to be WE together, in serenity.   WE are all One.