Laughing my way to Compassion

“Peace involves inevitable righteousness, justice, wholesomeness, fullness of life, participation in decision making, goodness, laughter, joy, compassion, sharing and reconciliation. “      Desmond Tutu

Are you your own toughest critic?  Do you turn on yourself the moment life starts getting rough?  Does the voice inside of your head go on and on about all the things you did wrong or could have done different?  Do you become so serious when learning something new instead of cutting yourself some slack and having a beginner's mind?   

I can say an empathic YES to all of the questions above.  I am tougher on myself than anybody "out there".  I have been known to be my own judge, jury and executioner.  There's even a label for the way I was - Type A personality - competitive and self-critical and a perfectionist.  I took life way too seriously and was totally self-centered in my little world.  

As a child of two schoolteachers, I have always felt the pressure to excel and be the best in whatever I chose to do.   Once I grew up and found a home of my own, I was unaware that my parents' voices had found a residence in my mind (once you hear something often enough, it gets recorded and embedded in our brains).

 My ex-husband used to play me an ELO song to help me lighten up:

Can it really be so serious?  To be all broken up and delirious. 

 I guess we've really been out of touch.  But can it really be so serious?  

(serious, so serious)

I thought things had to be perfect.  And that I could control everything.  Hahaha.  These beliefs caused me great stress and eventually illness.    Rather than chahahange my lifestyle, I tried to find coping mechanisms - such as cigarettes and food.

It took years to understand that I couldn't change my life with external things.  Yoga and meditation helped me go within and hear the voices and see the old patterns that were not serving me.  What I did learn along the way is that the only thing I have control over is my attitude.   To get upset and sick or to laugh and relax.  I chose to learn how to laugh at myself.  I decided to get over myself and take myself less seriously.

The ability to laugh at ourselves promotes self-acceptance.  We demonstrate vulnerability and our humanness.  It also become a positive coping mechanism that improves our mood, and builds our self esteem.  And there's science to back that up:  Being able to laugh at ourselves may be a sign of an optimistic personality and a sense of humor, according to a 2011 study.  It also floods our bodies with endorphins, feel good hormones, which alters our moods.  Moreover, it helps us build resilience (makes us flexible so we can bounce back and toughen up so we can withstand).
   

Learning to build my HAHA muscle and laugh at myself shifted my entire world.  As my HAHA muscle got stronger, I looked at the world through the lens of laughter.  As I laughed, I found love for myself - for the courageous soul that keeps on showing up and trying again and taking two steps forward even if one step is sometimes backwards.  As my love grew, so did my compassion - the emotion within me that helps me be gentle with myself.  

I practiced detaching from the thoughts that were not serving me.  I would thank them for sharing and surrender them into my breath.    Over time, I was amazed to see that my heart could expand to hahahandle pretty much anything.

Once I learned how to be compassionate with myself (nonjudgmental and unconditional approval for ALL of me) I had enough in my reservoir to shahare with others.
Brene Brown's video below explains it so well.

Once I learned how to be compassionate with myself (nonjudgmental and unconditional approval for ALL of me) I had enough in my reservoir to shahare with others.  Brene Brown's video below explains it so well.


I have a strong desire to see peace on this planet in my lifetime so I am working on all these components that Desmond Tutu mentions above.  I am building muscles that were always there.  Patiently learning how to flex and tone these muscles so I am ready for the chahahange that is blowing in the wind.

Compassion is the new fashion.  That is the highest form of coolness and kindness.

From my heart to yours,
LoveCAT Goddess

Laughter brings Clarity

These last few weeks, I've been dealing with a lot - turning 45, letting go of my belief that I would be pregnant  at 44 (my vulnerability prayer made me see what I was ass-u-me-ing), neighbors and friends and my Little ManMeow passing away, caretaking my parents, hospitals and feeling out of sorts.

I haven't been able to sleep properly or eat properly.  I haven't been able to focus or see what direction to go.  Laughing is the only thing that got me through this cloud of grief and confusion.  It helped lessen my pain and growing aches.  It brought me back to balance - back to myself.

I didn't think I could laugh.  Yet, once I started I couldn't stop.   The floodgates of emotion had opened.  All that yummy oxygen coming in - all that shahahaking and moving my body - releasing the stiffness and stuckness of darkness and shutting down.

I had one of these MOMents of hilarity - breath knocked out of me, holding my belly, sputtering from the mouth, laughing so hard the tears started to flow.   ExhaHAhaling my HAhas as my laughter came from deep in my belly.

The OMazing thing is that I laughed from the center of ME.  I felt it touching and affecting every cell in my body.  What started within expands out until my belly laugh becomes a body laugh and all of ME is shaHAhaking.

I allowed myself the gift of laughter.  I got into my body and out of my head so I could just BE.  The HAHA enerchi centered me in the present MOMent and helped me feel my flow again.

As Madison Taylor of Daily Om puts it:  

It is easy to laugh when we feel good, but it is when the world  appears dim that we most need laughter in our lives.

For me, hilarity brought clarity.  An A-hahaha MOMent.  An opportunity to chaHAhallenge myself to do different.  It also flooded my body with oxytocin, released my physical stress and allowed endorphins to flow into my blood stream.

Hilarity is uninhibited laughter - food of the soul - nourishing us from within.  When we feel full, we can focus and gain clear INsight into our lives.

Laughing so haHAhard and shaHAhaking it all about give you a different perspective.  It's kind of like leaning over the side of your bed and looking at your room upside down.  You see things in a whole new way.

Laughter is one of the easiest ways to free yourself from the mind's constant thought process and find inner peace.  - Pragito Dove

Laughing and building a strong HAHA muscle makes me resilient to whatever chahahallenges life brings my way.  It's like having an invisible superhero cape I can put on so I can survive and thrive in any situation.

I practice my HAHA muscle every day - creating an internal volcano of blood streaming, energy coursing, water moving through my torso - allowing all my internal organs to feel the massage of movement.

As I explore my inner state, I can express myself with clarity.    I am at peace with me.  And from this open hearted space, I find what I am seeking and know what next step to follow.

This is not for the faint of heart - this is another way of BEing. Hands on - eyes wide open.  For those who want to take on life with gusto.  From the inside out - where our wisdom within guides the way. 

If you are ready for some clarity in your life, some HAHA to A-Ha, and get your juicy back on - I can help you.  Schedule a free exploratory session with me and let us find the WOOHOO in your life.

Peeling the Heart Open

Turning 45 yesterday and reading Brene Brown's book, Daring Greatly, has me peeling the many layers around my heart.  Daring Greaty - is all about how the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we Live, Love, Parent and Lead.

I prayed for courage last year three times - to take baby steps in new directions, to grow as a human bean and expand my heart even more than I thought or knew possible. 

I went to the closet and got the picture of her out. She had been buried in the back. I had promised myself to do something with her image and preserve it so that time and humidity would not destroy it. I had purchased a frame a few weeks ago. I took the time to frame her and put her in front of me so she could witness the images in my head and share her experience and grow with me, through me, within me - so we could go beyond what was holding us back. This is ME at age two.

All these feelings coming up - all these voices and stories and NOISE -  I put on Kundalini chanting and let the music seep into my bones and silence my thoughts.   I allow the words and vibration to transcend the molecular level into my feeling and knowing space. I sit in stillness and gaze upon her face. 

I feel a light radiating - it is dim and yet I feel its heat. I breathe in and out. I breathe in and out. And the light grows. It warms my heart and tingles into my core, my legs, my feet, my shoulders, my hands. I feel LOVE and PEACE and JOY. I am surrounded by a pink bubble of bliss. I feel safe and protected. No harm can come to me here. And then the images and feelings begin.

Me as a four year old - confused and frightened by the tension, the impatience, the raised voices, the words that are beyond my comprehension. Me, a sensitive child, feeling and seeing things that others could not and being told to stop exaggerating and daydreaming or not to express myself.

Me as a seven year old - feeling the pain of not belonging, not being accepted, being different.  Scared to reach out - feeling shy and apprehensive. Trying to fit in and hide my psychic abilities.
Me as a twelve year old - getting my period - body changing, no explanations as to feelings and hormones, no celebration of this sacred time in my young life. Kids at school mean and hurtful, dysfunctional family relationships - feeling the need to protect myself and build a wall around my heart.

I cradle ME, in my heart.  I feel ME's desire to cry as the memories crash through my feeling body.   It's okay to cry. That is no longer forbidden. It's okay to be vulnerable and FEEL and express. It's okay to let the tears fall down - liquid gratitude for this journey we went through.

I turn on Karen Drucker and I sing songs of love and joy and acceptance - melodies of healing and forgiveness and letting go.   

I feel an integration - my heart expanding as a layer lets loose. No need for me as an adult (or at least I pretend to be at times) to hang onto these unneeded defenses - shyness and aloofness and anxiety.  Or the big one - NGE, not good enough. Wow!!! This one I can really let go of. Tee hee!!!

Breathing through this moment and showering myself with love.  Opening my heart to love and faith. Helping myself grow and become more of who I be. Still vulnerable to loss and grief and yet, my heart is resilient enough to accept it all - the good, the bad, and the ugly.  It all becomes beautyFULL.

Stretching - like the seed that has sprouted and reaches beyond the dirt to see the sun. That's what I am doing.  Embracing all parts of me on this beautiful journey called life.

I start my day with LOVE

I start my day with PEACE

I start my day with JOY

and I feel that sweet release

VULNERABLE IS BEAUTYfull

ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE

In 2014, I've let go of all the things I cannot control.  The weather, the news, traffic, other people, death, aging....  What I can control - what I have 100% autonomy is my ATTITUDE.  I choose how I will respond or react to any situation that crosses my path.

My research over the years shows me that the only attitude that really works and gives me what I want (health, happiness, abundance) is GRATITUDE.   I decided that 2014 is the year of GRATITUDE.   

Here are 3 things that I know to be true about gratitude:

Truth:    WHAT I FOCUS ON, I GET MORE OF

Shifting my understanding of myself, changing from a half-empty to an AbunDANCE kind of perspective, in all aspects of my life. The haHAhardest part of that is my self talk. How I view myself. The words I use when talking to me.   I used to be very haHAhard on myself, focusing more on what I haven't yet accomplished rather than what miracles I have created in my life.  I'd get stuck in what could have been rather than what IS.  Making peace with the past became easy as I learned to laugh at myself.  But for THEN, I would not be here NOW, sharing myself with you, dear Reader. And THEN had a lot of juicy stuff as I am relishing the adventures that have brought me to the HERE and NOW.

It took the lens of GRATITUDE to see all the yummy and exhilarating life lessons that have created me, Goddess Diana, the human bean that I am becoming. Looking at THEN and seeing how it has shaped NOW. And finding the gifts of THEN in the NOW. 

I am so grateful for THEN. I am so blessed for where it has brought me NOW.

Truth:  GRATITUDE IS A MUSCLE

Gratitude - saying thank you on the INside and out - to each and every thing that comes my way, no matter what it looks like when I receive it.   This was not allways my way.  I would go from experience to experience without taking the time to digest and savor.  Now, I stop and breathe and process all the juiciness that is in my life.   Expressing gratitude when I first wake up for the legs that let me stand, for my heart that beats, for the arms and hands that let me move and feel.  Singing gratitude for what my eyes see and my mouth tastes.

When I get lost in my thoughts or lose my focus, I stop and breathe and go into gratitude - counting my blessings and thanking the Universe for all the chaHAhallenges and opportunities in my life to love.  The Universe works in mysterious ways and what I see is not always what is.   Being in gratitude allows me to chaHAhange my perspective - see things differently or just be in appreciation for my life right now.

Before I go to bed, I get quiet and do a Pussy Ritual.  I put my hands on my core (the space where 8000 sensory nerve endings and I think of all the pleasure in my life and I give thanks - 12 times.  12 things that I acknowledge that brought me pleasure and I am truly greatFULL for.  12 things that I love about myself and how I be in my world.   12 people that touched my life today.

I flex and strengthen this muscle.   I work it out by putting my gratitude on paper and writing thank you notes or doing a Act of Random Kindness (ARK).   I expand my muscle by knocking on a neighbor's door or calling a friend and just listening.  I cultivate gratitude by sitting in the grass and taking in the nature that surrounds me - hugging a tree and talking to the squirrels and being One with my surroundings.

Truth:  GRATITUDE IS A MULTI SENSORY EXPERIENCE

Gratitude is more than just something we say.  For it to multiply in our lives, we have to feel it, deep inside, so it bubbles over on the outside and can be felt - this reverence and irreverence for life.    

It's feeling GREATfull for the smell of a fresh peeled orange in the morning or squirting lemon in my morning cup of water.  It's feeling pleasure for the cotton modal fabric I adorn my body with and the lotus flower that sits on my tush when I put my yoga pants on.  It's tasting the dew on a leaf outside my door as I prepare for my morning walk.  It's breathing in the sunrise as the clouds dance and change colors.  It's touching my cat's fur and feeling him purr in appreciation for our loving exchange.   

Using my senses to experience gratitude heightens the experience.  It keeps me focused on the good in my life.  It fills my reservoir of delightful and delicious experiences I can draw upon in my memory bank.

I am so grateful to be alive HERE NOW on this Heaven on Earth - laughing loving living - with an attitude of gratitude to guide my way and help me play and laugh at my life.

I am a lucky girl!!! I am - I am.