Surrendering to BE

I am peeling the translucent layers that surround my heart. Since these are invisible to the eye, they require gentleness in order to not tear the delicate skin.   Yum.

I am learning how to be in pleasure in every dimension of my life.   The most chaHAhallenging is the maintenance of my home.  

Really learning the process of being a domestic diva - a homemaker and caretaker - has been difficult.   I fought this discipline for a long time.  Hiring others to clean my house while I was doing other things. Except no one can love my stuff well until I do and then teach them to do the same.   After going through an army of merry maids and happy housecleaners, I surrendered and took it on myself.

I place a tiara on top of my head.  I crank on the music and I let myself go.  Devoting energies into different rooms as I sort, clear, purge and clean (washing floors, windows, dusting.....). I sing along to the tunes and sway and sashay.  I feel a shift in my vibrational energy.  As the water in the mop bucket gets darker, I feel a sadness I did not know existed within, lift.

My research (experimentation and experience) shows that dancing makes everything better.  It changes a bad mood into a good mood.  It gets me into my body and out of my head when I am facing a chaHAhallenge and it allows me to move deeper within where my truth resides.

I have always believed that dancing is the way to reconnect myself with my body - to truly inhabit the space within - it is so amazing how music can fill my soul and all of a sudden, my foot starts twitching and drumming a beat and then my hand follows, tapping a rhythm on my thigh - until I surrender to the music and let myself go and allow my energy to flow.

Dancing started at a young age. Friday nights after dinner, we'd gather in the basement and dance: Abba (Dancing Queen), Neil Diamond (Coming to America), Boney M (By the River of Babylon) and anything from the soundtrack of Grease. My cousins and I, my parents, my aunts and uncles - we would release all the tensions and cares of the weeks and boogie on down.

When I was in my teens, my girlfriends and I would sneak into the bars and dance, dance, dance - we didn't care for the drinking or the men - just the music pulsating in our veins and the unrestrained freedom of moving and sweating and being.

And so, it was a real pleasure to re-mind myself of how important dance is to my soul, my body and me.

I sway - I sashay - I spin - I move my hips - I do the hokey pokey and I turn myself about - that's what it's all about!!!

P.S.  The moment I surrendered into the process and made it fun, a fabulous woman appeared in my life.  Now, this gorgeous Angel comes twice a month to my house and gives it a thorough cleaning - nooks and crannies - and loves it the way I do.   Woohoo.

EXPLORATION of something NEW

A few weeks ago, LoverBoy and I tried something new for date night.   I was seeking an adventure - so we decided to explore a new part of town and step out of our comfort zone. 


 We crossed the border and entered Miami.   We went to visit the lovely Adrienne Arsht Center to catch a show called SLAVA'S SNOW SHOW.  It started at 8:00 pm (just before bedtime) on a Friday night.



We decided to grab a bite to eat before the show.  The restaurant, Prelude by Barton G, is totally decorated with jellyfish, from the big screens on the wall to the light fixtures.

We came to see the show because something appealed to me about

Slava's Snow Show.  It seemed like a great way to explore something new.   I bought the tickets and then read up about Slava.  

Slava is known as the World's Greatest Clown.  What he did with this show, by putting music (classical and eclectic) side by side with clowns is create a clown ballet that is funny and engaging and makes you laugh.  It also let my inner kid come out to play.

A visual masterpiece, Slava's Snow Show is a world of fantasy onstage and off.  Music to fill your senses and silliness to make your heart laugh.  We loved how he engaged the audience and how children and adults were so riveted that at the end, people stayed on to play.

Here's a little clip of the show and the music - it's still playing in Miami for the next week or so.  I would say Run and get a ticket and explore all the possibilities of what the mind and heart can do.

 

THE LANGUAGE of LOVE

Studying the social behavior of love, it was found that laughter is a huge factor in meeting, matching and mating.  Women seek a partner who can make them laugh.  And men are eager to comply with this request.

This groundbreaking research was done by Robert R. Provine, a neuroscientist and Professor of Psychology at the University of Maryland. He studies development and evolution of the nervous system and behavior, including human social behavior.  He's even written a few books including, Laughter:  A Scientific Investigation.

In fact, the research shows that it is women who do the most laughing and smiling while in the dating stage of a relationship.  The more a woman laughs aloud, the greater her self-reported interest in this man.  Simply put, the more he makes her laugh, the more attractive she finds him.   Vice versa, men are more interested in women who laugh at their sense of humor.  Simply put, men are attracted to women who laugh at them.

A German study quoted in his book shows:  THE LAUGHTER OF THE FEMALE, not the male, is the CRITICAL index of a HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP.  What truly matters is that a woman laughs in her relationship.   She creates the RESONANCE that raises the vibration.   As they say, a happy wife is a happy life.

Speaking from my 16 years of married experience to LoverBoy, LAUGHTER is the glue.   Over the years, we've learned to laugh at everything that haHAhappens.   We find the humor in just about anything and then are so grateful for our gentle life experiences.   And when we both laugh together, life is so very very good!!!  Yay!!!

This explains why having a sense of humor is near the top of women's priority list of what they look for in a man. When a woman says 'He's such a funny guy - we spent the whole night laughing together' she usually means that she spent the night laughing and he spent the night making her laugh.

LAUGHTER might just be the language of love as it is a universal language that needs no words.    As is music - another language of LOVE.   And singing.   An act of love to oneself.  Some say that divine RESONANCE can be found by chaHAhanting - a vocal meditation - uniting our mind, body and breath through sound.

I believe this to be true.  It is OMazing how quickly singing a song can chaHAhange my body's chemistry and take me from low to high in a sound beat.

What we chaHAhant is less important as the willingness to focus fully on letting our song come out to play.   ChaHAhanting lets us raise our vibrational level so we can fly high.    

I realized this when I started my HAHA anthems - singing a la gibberish made me feel great.  I enjoyed the freedom of letting my tongue roll any which way.   And the creativity of sound is so much fun.  It also made people laugh just hearing me and encouraged them to make their own.

Here's a simple act of RESONANCE from me to you - raising our vibration one HAHA at a time:

Freedom of Forgiveness

"Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt 

only g

ives you tense muscles, a headache and a 

sore jaw 

from clenching your teeth. 

Forgiveness gives you back laughter

and the lightness in your life." 

-Joan Lunden

I used to have a lot of anger in my life. I would take things personally and hold on to past grudges and resentments.  If you hurt me, I would hold on to it for a long time.  Not just in my head (replaying the story over and over again) but in my body.   I was carrying this extra weight to cover my wounds and protect myself.   

One day, I read a book by Thich Nhat Hanh called Anger - he talked about embracing our anger with the sunshine of mindfulness.  Breathing through it, like cooking potatoes, and embracing it to find its true nature and gift.    Dealing with anger through love and tenderness for oneself is a powerful practice.

I started writing letters to people I felt had hurt me.  Letters that I wrote and kept - letters asking of forgiveness to me, myself and I for being caught up in the situation.  I forgave myself for whatever thoughts and actions I contributed in creating that moment.  I forgave myself for what I knew and what I didn't know.   I forgave the other person for their pain and suffering that found a conduit through me.  I would write these letters and put them away.  A funny thing haHAhappened - as I wrote and let go of my stories, my weight came right off.  It was like I no longer needed to hide my love and light.

One of my most favorite exercises in Laughter Yoga is LAUGHING at YOURSELF.  I love practicing this simple technique - pointing at myself,

 laughing and then kissing the palm and planting it on my body.  It reminds me to be gentle and loving with myself.   It strengthens my HAHA muscle so that I can best respond to any situation that comes my way.

Recently, I had a chaHAhance to practice.   Someone I love was very angry and rude with me.  The bitterness of their words and the violence of their expression brought me to tears.   For a MOMent, my ego wanted to take center stage and bask in the glow of anger and stay in the pain.  

A child who witnessed the moment later came to me as I cried and reminded me that this person was in great pain and overwhelmed and scared.  She reminded me to use my Laughter Yoga skills and shaHAhakti shaHAhake it right out of my system.  I did.  I laughed at myself for taking it all so seriously.  

Those who can laugh at themselves are able to brush aside hurt with a sense of compassion.  And in that space, forgiveness arises and love returns.

A Course in Miracles states that our purpose on earth is to forgive.  Cutting ourselves some slack and doing the same for others.  Focusing on all the good and LOVE that exists and letting go of anything that doesn't serve us.  For that is the path of peace.

SAND & STONE - A Story