Freedom of Forgiveness

"Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt 

only g

ives you tense muscles, a headache and a 

sore jaw 

from clenching your teeth. 

Forgiveness gives you back laughter

and the lightness in your life." 

-Joan Lunden

I used to have a lot of anger in my life. I would take things personally and hold on to past grudges and resentments.  If you hurt me, I would hold on to it for a long time.  Not just in my head (replaying the story over and over again) but in my body.   I was carrying this extra weight to cover my wounds and protect myself.   

One day, I read a book by Thich Nhat Hanh called Anger - he talked about embracing our anger with the sunshine of mindfulness.  Breathing through it, like cooking potatoes, and embracing it to find its true nature and gift.    Dealing with anger through love and tenderness for oneself is a powerful practice.

I started writing letters to people I felt had hurt me.  Letters that I wrote and kept - letters asking of forgiveness to me, myself and I for being caught up in the situation.  I forgave myself for whatever thoughts and actions I contributed in creating that moment.  I forgave myself for what I knew and what I didn't know.   I forgave the other person for their pain and suffering that found a conduit through me.  I would write these letters and put them away.  A funny thing haHAhappened - as I wrote and let go of my stories, my weight came right off.  It was like I no longer needed to hide my love and light.

One of my most favorite exercises in Laughter Yoga is LAUGHING at YOURSELF.  I love practicing this simple technique - pointing at myself,

 laughing and then kissing the palm and planting it on my body.  It reminds me to be gentle and loving with myself.   It strengthens my HAHA muscle so that I can best respond to any situation that comes my way.

Recently, I had a chaHAhance to practice.   Someone I love was very angry and rude with me.  The bitterness of their words and the violence of their expression brought me to tears.   For a MOMent, my ego wanted to take center stage and bask in the glow of anger and stay in the pain.  

A child who witnessed the moment later came to me as I cried and reminded me that this person was in great pain and overwhelmed and scared.  She reminded me to use my Laughter Yoga skills and shaHAhakti shaHAhake it right out of my system.  I did.  I laughed at myself for taking it all so seriously.  

Those who can laugh at themselves are able to brush aside hurt with a sense of compassion.  And in that space, forgiveness arises and love returns.

A Course in Miracles states that our purpose on earth is to forgive.  Cutting ourselves some slack and doing the same for others.  Focusing on all the good and LOVE that exists and letting go of anything that doesn't serve us.  For that is the path of peace.

SAND & STONE - A Story