Family

When WSM Noah and I married 13 years ago,  he wanted a ceremony where he could introduce me to his friends and family.  Being brought up of the Jewish persuasion, we decided to have a traditional wedding.

Just prior to the actual wedding ceremony,we had to sign a document called a Ketubah - pronounced KeTWObah.  A Ketubah, as defined by Wikipedia:   " a special type of Jewish prenuptial agreement. Considered an integral part of a traditional Jewish marriage, it outlines the rights and responsibilities of the groom, in relation to the bride."

According to this document we signed in front of witnesses and our parents, Noah's obligations as a husband to me, his wife, were clearly delineated.  In fact, there were three major things he needed to provide for me:

1. Clothing
2. Food
3. Conjugal Relations

Interestingly enough, there was no mention of any of my obligations or duties to him.   Hahaha.

What I know about Judaism, having had an extensive Jewish education (thanks Dad) is that while most of the important stuff is written, the truly important is unwritten.  While the 5 Books of the Torah (hebrew for Bible or Old Testament) have the important laws of Jewish life, there were 613 unwritten rules about how to live these laws. Eventually, they were written into a book called the Mishnah.

So, when I signed the Ketubah, I knew, deep in my heart, that there would be some unwritten rules about my rights and responsibilities as a bride to my groom.  I call these the KetubahaHAha.

Over the years, I have determined that the three major things a wife provides to her husband:

1. Sacred Space
2. Humor
3. Adoption of family

1.   Sacred Space - a wife has to create a happy, peaceful home for him where the clothing and food and conjugal relations can be stored and eaten and performed.

2.   Humor - a wife has to have the ability to laugh at all the new changes that occur in her life as she becomes a bride.  She has be able to laugh at herself as she slowly changes from an individual to a wife.  She has to be able to laugh with her husband about life and what comes up or goes down.

3.   Adoption of family -  Becoming a wife means that all of a sudden, you are not just marrying the man you love, the groom, but adding his whole family to the mix  - whether you wanted it or not.  His siblings, parents, aunts, uncles, long lost relatives, brothers from another mother, and all sorts of friends he has collected over the years now become part of your MishpachaHAHA (hebrew word for family with an emphaHAhasis).

This week, it was my blessing to honor one of my adoptees, my Great Auntie Sylvia.   Over the last 13 years, this woman has let me into her life and her heart and into her kitchen (no easy feat - it took me 9 years to earn this privilege).  We have hobnobbed to some of the best and worst restaurants in Broward County, seen delightful movies, gone to the zoo, and even snuck in a little walk at the beach and a trip to Orlando, New York and California.

On Sunday, we had a birthday bash to celebrate her 95th birthday.  I had the privilege to make a movie about her life and the wisdom and joy she's shared with me over the years.

I love you Great Auntie Sylvia.   Looking forward to celebrating 100 with you.   Woohoo.