Symmetry and ME

I pray for symmetry this week because I am looking for balance.  Life is giving me an opportunity to learn something anew - from a different perspective.

Life is all about symmetry.  It's all around us - balanced proportions - what's on the left is on the right - as above, so below.  What we do to the left side and right side, we do to the front and back.

Almost two years ago, I broke a bone in my right foot. It took quite a while to heal. In the first month or so, I rested and did nothing.  I BE for quite a while as I let my bones strengthen and realign.   

Last month, I danced with the pavement and twisted my ankle.  It got a little swollen and bruised and I gave it some elevation and ice and did my best to rest.  The swelling subsided and the pain became tolerable.  

The next day I flew from Texas to Florida. The swelling flared up again.  I took a few days to rest and relax.  And then, life came a calling and I went a running.  

Instead of adapting to a new lifestyle and asking for help - I tried to resume most of my activities and do everything myself.  I didn't realize the impact of   walking the dog, shopping, cleaning, driving, going to the beach - was having on my foot.   My ankle would swell because of my daily activities and I would ice and elevate every night.

Last week, my body screamed at me.  My Ipad haHAhappened to fall off the edge of my bed and land on the second toe of my left foot.  Direct impact - just one toe.  HaHAhappens to be my big toe since it is longer than my thumb toe.  My toe got bruised and swollen and sends ripples of pain to all the toes around it.

Now, between my ankle and my toe, my left foot feels really chaHAhallenging to walk on.   Still, I did not completely listen.   Yesterday,  I stubbed my toes.  The second and the third toe on my LEFT foot.  The pain was so excruciating, I saw stars.  I stopped and sat down and took a deep breath.   

For me, when my body speaks - injuries or pain - I know I am being told something.   Some message is trying to get across.

I pulled out my trusty Louise Hay, You Can Heal Your Life and referenced my injuries.  

Feet problems have to do with our understanding of ourselves, of life and others.  It has to do with fear of the future and stepping forward into what life has to offer.

More specifically, her assessment of fractures was spot on.  She describes a fracture as rebelling against authority.   Learning to trust myself regardless of what "professionals" tell me is best for me.  At the time this occurred, I was taking all sorts of crazy medical tests that felt wrong for me - trying to prove to my family that I was healthy in my raw food lifestyle.  My right foot, feminine side, was in conflict with what I knew and what the experts were saying.   To listen, my body gave me a powerful message and time to hear.

This time around, the ankle and the toes - Hays' assessment is the ability to receive pleasure and the minor details in life.  I had to really listen to this and put one and one together.  My left foot - my masculine side - the one that runs the show and takes care of myself and everybody else.   It's true.  I was so busy helping and nurturing and caring that I forgot to receive pleasure for my body, for my way of life, for what brings me juiciness and haHAhappiness.   And so my body showed me.  First in my ankle and then in my toes (the minor details) - how I can receive pleasure in even the smallest things in life.

Like Elly Belly rubbing her fur against my toes in her so gentle feline way and me being present in this moment with her.   Like walking in the grass with the Earth under my feet making me strong and enjoying the moment and breathing it in.   Like letting LoverBoy go to the market to do our shopping instead of trying to do it all.  

Receiving pleasure and balancing both sides of ME. Letting go of my fears (False Expectations Appearing Real) of the future and what may be and trusting myself and my wisdom.

The symmetry of the the left and right (masculine and feminine) - balanced proportions - that work well together, if I can get out of my own way.   WhaHAhat an OMazing chaHAhallenge - woohoo!!!